How has my life developed through dreaming and how is my life expanding?
For me, the greatest gift of dreaming is the new appreciation that I can experience. Appreciation for myself, life, death, the people around me, what happens to me, how it happens to me, how I deal with it, what I experience, how I encounter myself. Appreciation is Peace.
My journey began in 2004, when I was still experiencing a lot of self-doubt, inner conflicts, longings and questions, but for the first time I experienced spaces of perception that felt like a true home. Liberated, clear being in myself and in space. It felt completely natural and normal, as if it were actually normal perception - awake true nature.
For a brief moment I experienced it. It was a fleeting experience. Everyday normality and issues soon returned. And yet: I was touched by a glimpse of felt truth that cannot be put into words.
First impressions: Feelings of connectedness with nature. Feelings of home wherever I was. Man-made civilization may feel alien and threatening, but nature is the same everywhere. I can connect with it everywhere and feel at home on this planet and in the universe. I can also love myself. A new appreciation for music.
The feeling of powerlessness has been with me since childhood. Looking back, I realize that. I used to lose myself in longing and self-pity. Today, it still pops up from time to time. In everyday situations, I still sometimes feel it inside. A brief flare-up of anger, powerlessness, old patterns. Then it dies down again. I usually become aware of it in time and can redirect the energy. Then I soothe the pain with gratitude, put the situation into perspective, become aware of the circumstances, reflect, etc. I write it down in my diary. Make peace and let go. Unlike in the past, I no longer need three weeks to find a word for my feelings.
My life today feels lighter than before. I feel connected to myself, my surroundings, my environment, the universe.
I attribute most of my development to my dream journeys. They have guided me, taught me to be amazed again, shown me perspectives, shown me my beauty, my strength and my dignity, touched my heart. I have learned to be touchable and to allow myself to be touched in my heart.
Many topics have opened up to me since then, such as self-love, self-empowerment, self-confidence, a new self-image.
This abundance is indescribable. Impressions and insights, experiences of unity, awakening, sublimity, ecstasy, shattering and uplifting in the most wonderful sense. I have received answers to questions that I did not know I had.
Alot born out of traveling together, I experience again and again that in a group there are often people with similar topics. Resonance. A family of fellow dreamers. Touching, inspiring, nourishing.
How wonderful to have this opportunity to experience, to reveal, to open up to the perception of felt truth, however it may manifest itself.
I used to envy those who described colorful pictures from their travels. I only ever received short, concise snippets of words, but I also wanted to be able to describe things so colorfully and vividly. I realized that it was precisely these snippets of words that stuck with me. Nuggets, short mantras that have accompanied me ever since and have always given me support and the inner serenity to deal with everything and to be grateful.
Today I feel a lot of curiosity and a desire for new experiences in different areas. I can sense the impulses. The energy wants to flow. I give it space. The path is the goal. I learn it again and again. A wonderful experience of arriving in the here and now again and again. Up the stairs, down the stairs, yipee.
The pain from before, the heavy issues have become lighter or have dissolved, fulfilled, in any case taught me a lot about how I am and why. I have forgiven. Old patterns and reactions still crop up, but less frequently and no longer with the overpowering force they once had.
In crises or otherwise challenging times, I always feel connected, supported and guided. A new appreciation for pain and death. New perspectives and tools for dealing with it. Humility and devotion. DisEngage. Space of grace.
Mindfulness + Empathy = Inner Peace.
I am Ecstasy, I am Oasis.
Visions are Dimensions.
I don't have to anymore.
The glimpse of felt truth from back then became a lighthouse, home port, breeding ground, school of life, playground, expanded context and frame of reference, space for experience and knowledge. A new sense of life and being today compared to the past. Love.
I am here. I am Warrior.
Deeply grateful. With humility.
From the heart.
Aho
Soaring Roaring Thunderbird
11.12.2023, 51 years
